hmmmm no one, but clousems
Tips 1-10: Pudding and fine dining
1: Pudding can be used to blind an adversary in combat situations
2: Never attack anyone who is wielding pudding
3: Bendy straws show the world that you are dignified
4: Never eat anything that is still alive in public
5: You can use the pointy part of a hammer as a fork. But you probably shouldn't
6: Eating is all about showing your food who is superior. DO NOT LET YOUR DINNER EAT YOU!
7: The acronym BED is helpful to remember the arrangement of one's place at a dinner. From left to right: Bread, Entree, Drink
8: The BED thing goes out the window as soon as pudding is introduced. You don't want to P your BED
9: It is considered impolite to light fire to your host or his napkins at a dinner party.
10: Never eat dinner at the house of a vegan friend, lest you be guilt tripped into eating quinoa
1: Pudding can be used to blind an adversary in combat situations
2: Never attack anyone who is wielding pudding
3: Bendy straws show the world that you are dignified
4: Never eat anything that is still alive in public
5: You can use the pointy part of a hammer as a fork. But you probably shouldn't
6: Eating is all about showing your food who is superior. DO NOT LET YOUR DINNER EAT YOU!
7: The acronym BED is helpful to remember the arrangement of one's place at a dinner. From left to right: Bread, Entree, Drink
8: The BED thing goes out the window as soon as pudding is introduced. You don't want to P your BED
9: It is considered impolite to light fire to your host or his napkins at a dinner party.
10: Never eat dinner at the house of a vegan friend, lest you be guilt tripped into eating quinoa
Life tips 11-15: Vampires
11: Most vampires are basically giant mosquitos who only speak English, but in a Hungarian accent. Use bug spray when travelling to vampire-infested regions of Bohemia.
12: Never trust anyone who spells vampire with a y, because they are in all likelihood a vampire.
13: Chinese vampires are a different kettle of fish. Unlike normal vampires, which pretty much act like rich ***holes, Chinese vampires do the bunny hop and are defeated by the power of yellow sticky notes. In other words, they are a lot more fun to be around.
14: If you spot a vampire that sparkles, you can capture it and use it as a disco ball at your next party.
15: For some reason, modern vampires always dress in black leather trench coats and combat boots, as though they were at a Matrix convention. If you need to blend in, just ask yourself "What would Keanu do?"
11: Most vampires are basically giant mosquitos who only speak English, but in a Hungarian accent. Use bug spray when travelling to vampire-infested regions of Bohemia.
12: Never trust anyone who spells vampire with a y, because they are in all likelihood a vampire.
13: Chinese vampires are a different kettle of fish. Unlike normal vampires, which pretty much act like rich ***holes, Chinese vampires do the bunny hop and are defeated by the power of yellow sticky notes. In other words, they are a lot more fun to be around.
14: If you spot a vampire that sparkles, you can capture it and use it as a disco ball at your next party.
15: For some reason, modern vampires always dress in black leather trench coats and combat boots, as though they were at a Matrix convention. If you need to blend in, just ask yourself "What would Keanu do?"
Life tips 16-20: Driving
16: Do not text, eat, drink, talk, look away, juggle, read, or breathe while operating a motor vehicle.
17: You need not abide by the previous restrictions if you are driving a non-motor vehicle. Examples of non-motor vehicles: covered wagon, chariot, pogo-stick, old-timey bicycle, dragon, trireme, or Santa's sleigh.
18: If you see a parking spot reserved for electric cars, remember: your car has electrical components.
19: Don't trust lyft, for the same reason as number 12
20: If you ever get pulled over for speeding, a good way to get out of it is by conducting a citizen's arrest on the police officer, because he was breaking the speed limit to catch you.
16: Do not text, eat, drink, talk, look away, juggle, read, or breathe while operating a motor vehicle.
17: You need not abide by the previous restrictions if you are driving a non-motor vehicle. Examples of non-motor vehicles: covered wagon, chariot, pogo-stick, old-timey bicycle, dragon, trireme, or Santa's sleigh.
18: If you see a parking spot reserved for electric cars, remember: your car has electrical components.
19: Don't trust lyft, for the same reason as number 12
20: If you ever get pulled over for speeding, a good way to get out of it is by conducting a citizen's arrest on the police officer, because he was breaking the speed limit to catch you.
21-25: Films (Part 1)
21: Anything with Peter Sellers must be hilarious
22: No movie defined as a romance has ever been worth watching
23: Never work with Klaus Kinski
24: Peter Jackson is overrated
25: You can simulate an acid trip by watching Spanish films
21: Anything with Peter Sellers must be hilarious
22: No movie defined as a romance has ever been worth watching
23: Never work with Klaus Kinski
24: Peter Jackson is overrated
25: You can simulate an acid trip by watching Spanish films
I'm not sure if I can give any advice on any of those subjects.
My chess skills are thoroughly average, my comedy is, frankly, terrible, I don't play video games, and any chillness I have is probably how I mask my sadness that is caused by my knowledge that my chess skills are average, my comedy is terrible, and that I don't play video games.
My chess skills are thoroughly average, my comedy is, frankly, terrible, I don't play video games, and any chillness I have is probably how I mask my sadness that is caused by my knowledge that my chess skills are average, my comedy is terrible, and that I don't play video games.
@clousems "Simulate an acid trip by watching Spanish Films"? First of all, what on Earth is an acid trip?
Tip 26: When possible, answer questions with references to things older than 20 years, as it makes you look refined and dignified. For example:
@SavageAntarctican : I will answer with the help of a song segment by that most dignified band, Witchfinder General:
"Reality it is a lie
The briefest dream before I die
To comprehend the cosmic scheme
see the truth behind my dream
Look out for me,
let's trip on LSD"
If you understood any of that, you are experiencing an acid trip
@SavageAntarctican : I will answer with the help of a song segment by that most dignified band, Witchfinder General:
"Reality it is a lie
The briefest dream before I die
To comprehend the cosmic scheme
see the truth behind my dream
Look out for me,
let's trip on LSD"
If you understood any of that, you are experiencing an acid trip
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