Creating a human out of soil

A recipe of creating a human out of soil, in the style of Matty Matheson.

Alright, let's get down to business. If you're reading this, I'm assuming you're ready to learn about how to create a human out of soil. Well, first things first: you're gonna need some good quality soil. None of that chemically treated stuff you get at the big box stores. No, no, no. You want some nice, rich, loamy soil. The kind that's full of nutrients and has that nice, earthy smell.

Next up, you're going to want to add in some water. Not too much, just enough to give the soil a nice, moist consistency. You don't want it to be too wet, or it'll get all clumpy and gross. Just enough to give it some life.

Now comes the fun part: shaping your human. This is where you get to use your creativity and let your imagination run wild. You can make your human as big or as small as you want, with as many or as few features as you like. Just use your hands to mold the soil into the shape you want, and don't be afraid to get dirty.

Once you've got the basic shape down, it's time to add some details. You can use twigs for arms and legs, stones for eyes, and even some dried leaves or grass for hair. Get creative and have fun with it.
Now, the final step: give your human some life. You can do this by adding a little bit of water to its head, and then standing back and watching as it comes to life before your very eyes.

And there you have it! A human created from nothing but soil and water. It's a simple recipe, but one that can bring endless joy and creativity. So go out there and get dirty, and see what kind of humans you can create. Just remember: have fun and let your imagination run wild!

Alternative recipe, by adding a biblical satanic snake to the soil mix.

Alright, so you've followed the recipe and created your human out of soil and water. But now, you're feeling a little bit daring and you want to take things to the next level. That's where the biblical satanic snake comes in.

First, you'll need to find a snake that embodies the essence of Satan. This may require a bit of searching, but trust me, it's worth it. Once you've found your snake, it's time to add it to the mix.

Take your soil and water mixture and place it in a large bowl or cauldron. Then, carefully add in the snake, making sure to mix it in well. You want to make sure the snake's essence is thoroughly infused into the soil.

Now comes the tricky part: shaping your human. The presence of the satanic snake will make the process a bit more challenging, as the soil will be more resistant to your touch. But don't let that deter you! Use all your strength and creativity to mold the soil into the shape you want.

Once you've got the basic shape down, it's time to add the details. Use the same techniques as before, but this time, the results will be even more impressive. The snake's essence will give your human an added touch of darkness and mystery.

Finally, it's time to bring your human to life. Just like before, add a little bit of water to the head and watch as it comes to life before your very eyes. But this time, be prepared for a bit of a surprise. The satanic snake's essence will imbue your human with a touch of the demonic, and you may see some unexpected behaviors.

And there you have it: a human created from soil, water, and the essence of a biblical satanic snake. It's a recipe that's sure to turn heads and spark conversation. So go out there and get creative, and see what kind of humans you can create.