Why you shouldn't give up anything in life

Hello everyone, and welcome to my blog post.

Recently, as it's summer, I had a lot more time to think about chess and about how I can improve my game, but I really didn't want to put in the effort and use my time to improve, and it was only because I didn't score so much good in tournaments this year.

So, it was like in tournaments I just couldn't use the skills and determination I showed in chess lessons or playing online, and eventually came away from every tournament with very little or no points.
This made me feel really bad about myself, as I was sure I had some great tactical skills but somehow I couldn't put them to use in tournaments, and that made me think of abandoning chess for at least a few months, as I never saw satisfaction in what I was doing and in the results.

But the point is that, after these two months, something changed, but in highly unexpected ways, as if chess weren't destined to abandon me.

In the following paragraphs, I will tell you in more detail what happened to me, as it struck me a lot when chess suddenly reappeared in my daily life without me deciding to start training again.

Was it just a normal day at the library?

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Really, this day was really strange. I remember going to the bookstore to choose two books to take with me on vacation, and I chose three readings, of which:

1. Black Holes and Newborn Universes - by Stephen Hawking
2. The Creativity Code - by Marcus Du Satoy
3. God Is a Mathematician - by Mario Livio (still not read)

Reading the first two books, I noticed in both, but especially in the second, various references to chess used by the authors.

For example, in "The Creativity Code", the author mentions chess to introduce, through the development of chess engines, the challenge of creating engines that can beat the best players in the game of Go (an ancient chinese game, which, as Du Satoy defines) :

"Compared to the military character of chess, is a game of territory. Players take turns placing black and white stones on a 19x19 grid. If you manage to surround a group of your opponent's stones with your own stones, you capture them; therefore whoever, at the end of the game, has captured the most stones wins. The difficulty of the game, Conway pointed out to me, is that as you try to surround your opponent, you must avoid having your stones themselves captured."

"It was difficult to identify a clear strategy that would help me win, and as the number of stones placed on the grid increased, the game seemed to get more complicated (as opposed to chess, where as pieces are gradually removed the game starts to simplify)".

So, basically, I read something about chess without wanting to read anything related to chess.

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As a superstitious person, I reflected on these coincidences and it made me think that quitting chess would have been a mistake for several reasons, especially because I always liked playing as opposed to studying chess, but I thought that a bad time shouldn't be necessary for me to decide to abandon everything.

I thought about it for a few days, and in fact I decided to make a move and do something to restart my training.

In fact, if you think about it, why should you abandon a beautiful 4-year journey just because of my high expectations that I didn't reach in the end? Why leave if it is thanks to this passion that I met some fantastic people, with the same interests as me? Why disappoint myself for this insignificant unexpected unforseen...?

As someone who never gives up on anything, even if it's in its worst phase of life, I couldn't handle the idea of leaving all of this, included all the people who really cared about me and who only wanted the best for me, both in chess and beyond.

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As I'm also a very determined person, I immediately started training, and, knowing that I had some gaps in the theory, I thought about starting from that. So I rewised all the openings I "studied" this year and I'm still working on it.

However, also having a great desire to play games, I installed ChessTitans and played many games against the computer, finally managing to beat level 5 several times after two weeks. Then, after a few games, I analyze all my moves on Chessbase.

Doing this for some weeks, I I've definitely recovered and I'm continuing to train every day and I'd say I'm quite satisfied.

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The purpose of this blog?

I decided to tell you about what happened this month because I really think many people in the chess world that can find themselves in worsening situations, but I think that taking it lightly is the best way to live this situations, and it's good to remember that everything has an end, not just the good things!

And furthermore, it is always good to know that in chess, there are those who are destined to become Grandmasters (obviously also with great commitment and determination), someone else FIDE Masters, and others will simply follow this passion without obtaining the best among results, but the point is that it is absolutely ok!

Maybe chess won't become a crucial part of your life like some others, but if you're really passionate about it don't leave everything for the results! Simply, it's nice to enjoy chess even like this!

Whatever result you achieve, it will always be nice to dedicate a small part of your time to your passions, meet people, and share the same interests.

So.. keep playing! Who knows? Maybe you will improve a lot, or a little, or you will no longer be interested in improving and chess will be exclusively for you to enjoy. But still, what does it matter? it's funny, isn't it?
This is the reason and the question you have to ask yourself for chess but for every passion/hobbie you have:

"Is it funny?"

Now you have the answer! I really wish you a beautiful chess journey! :-)
See you on the next blog post!