A Textbook Cheapo

So there I was, in the midst of yet another weekend swiss...and right on the verge of losing to yet another lower-rated.

And it's not like I ever had any play throughout the game either. I had to rely on an odd tactical situation to cut my losses to a mere pawn. And so I found myself as Black entirely without prospects (until of course you counted the prospect of getting shellacked yet again).

My thoughts at the time? Most likely something along the lines of: "I could be sitting at home watching cartoons right now. Instead my whole weekend is ruined! God, I hate chess."

There was one cheapo possible; in fact, it was so cheap it looked like something right out of a Reinfeld book. But it's not like he was gonna fall into it. Ever. Meanwhile I began to consider taking up checkers. Or maybe backgammon (there was supposed to be more money in backgammon).

I'd moved my king away from the f-pawn...just to make my one last vain hope a little bit more enticing. Then--as I sat there hypnotized--I watched my opponent move his queen to the d7-square.

Where his finger rested atop it for several seconds, as he looked over the prospects (and I began to turn blue, until I remembered at last to breathe). Then, while I watched, he returned the queen to its original square.

I closed my eyes...with my last chance gone. And harbored one final less-than-gentlemanly thought: "Yeah, why not give me that one last ray of hope, Destiny (just before slamming the door shut)?"

Maybe I should just go ahead and withdraw after the round. I mean, did I really want to come back and play on Sunday? Not with things going like that...

And when I opened my eyes again, the queen was back on d7. Only this time with no finger on top.

It was like being born again, I swear to God.

I waited a couple minutes--just so I wouldn't come off as some sort of Tarzan. And I made my move: The Cheapest Of All Cheapos. And after a few minutes my opponent resigned. :)