What I will present to you now is the unabridged version of a story I and other anonymous Online acquaintances were concocting some years ago in a now-dead forum on the ancient Internets ... Everybody could join us but the twist was that one could only compose a single sentence before someone else had to take his turn. None of us could have expected that a joke thread like this could ever result in such a humorous and intricate tale as the one following, and I considered making the story known to others for a long time now.
Even if this finds no readers over here at Lichess, I always wanted to conserve it on the web after the original text file went missing for two years and was just recently rediscovered when I dismantled my old laptop. I hope you'll enjoy the ride as much as I did when I was writing it! :) The (never formally agreed on) title of the story is "2106 AD".
And here it goes ...
Okay, where is it? The story? Are we supposed to make it?
The thing David wanted everyone to understand about him is that he was loud for a reason. Teenage angst and anxiety about his social life at High School had taken the best from him, and all that was left was an obnoxious emo kid which listened to Green Day all day long, the volume on his iPod turned to max.
"David", his mother called him from the kitchen downstairs, "I've served dinner. Come down, hun."
But David couldn't hear her because of the ear plugs and so he didn't notice her loving care for his well-being and he continued to delve into the yet uncharted depths of his self-pity.
He knew cranking up the volume on the music so loud wasn't good for his crappy hearing, but, like any teen in the 'tude stage of his life, he didn't care.
David's mother, enraged after minutes of fruitlessly calling her son to sit down at the dinner table, entered his room, pulled out the ear plugs from his ears and said ferociously: "That's it mister, no more pocket money for you this month!". David was utterly shocked by this prospect. He needed money for the movies, concerts and such things. This could mean only one thing: He must get a job.
At the next day, David told his friends at school about this and they too were truly surprised. After all, David's mother was generally known to be the most tolerant and indifferent mother around; normally she didn't give a crap about the eccentric behavior of her son and therefore, this sudden cut in David's monthly budget came most surprising. David's peers, Charles and Ramon, both emo kids of the finest kind, suspected that this sudden mind change of his mother must have something to do with a new, unknown lover in her life.
But being punk kids, they didn't phrase it that delicately.
So David was forced to look for a job; his first choice was to apply at the nearby McDonald's, where his father had worked for nearly thirty years until his retirement. David's haircut, pierced nose and obvious bad attitude were going to be a problem in getting hired anywhere, but at McDonald's he had an in.
He knew that his late father left a legacy at this place.
The next day, David entered the office of the manager of the local McDonald's and sat down before the desk of Mr. Ricardelli. Sam Ricardelli liked to brag at every given opportunity that he was war veteran of Vietnam, with no tolerance for self-indulgent, worthless slackers like David.
Nevertheless, Dave got the job he was looking for after a very embarrassing, very awkward job interview, and the next thing he knew he was occupied as the new fry cook.
David had no idea why he wasn't manning the drive-thru window or something instead, as he couldn't cook. Still, the pay was better, so he was quite happy when he received his first pay check a month later. Just some three-hundred bucks more and he could be able to afford one ticket to the next Green Day-concert, which happened to be held next week in his hometown, Columbus, OH.
David was very happy with the current circumstances of his life, so he even stopped cutting himself; which kind of alienated him a bit from the other emo kids he had befriended so far at his school. Non-conformists cliques always wanted everyone to non-conform together.
One day, on his way to home to his ignorant, middle-class mother (as he called her in his mind) a black car pulled over to the sidewalk David was walking on; he stopped, curious. A black, mirrored window of the car cracked opened and a mysterious, smoky, low, female voice called from inside: "David, why don't you have a seat? We have a very interesting offer for you."
David was paralyzed, and as though forced to move by a puppeteer, slowly opened the door and entered the car. There was a soundless buzzing - a shapely brunette, wearing an oddly-styled gray woman’s business suit, was in the back seat lying on her back, eyes closed; she said with a husky voice: "David, there is a service I want you to perform for me"
"But who are you, I even don't know why you picked me out of all people for your task!", he said in a distressed voice, almost crying, for he clearly felt now that with the arrival of this woman his sound little suburban world had suddenly come to a crashing halt this instant. She instilled respect and some sort of dread into him, made him utterly nervous; and she even hadn't said that much, too!
The woman sat up, grabbed David with both hands on his face, and looked deeply into his eyes. She said in a crystal-clear voice, as cold and emotionless as a diamond, "Dave, I'm your wife… from the mother****in' future!"
"What..? What do you mean, from the future? How is that possible? My wife? When did we meet? Who are you??" - shouted David while trying to back out of the car.
Unfortunately the door on his side was already closed and the car was speeding down the deserted street.
The woman looked out the window for a moment, collecting her thoughts before turning again to look at David and saying, "Never mind that now. That's a long story and our time is short. You'll just have to trust me and I'll explain everything later.
You see our nephew, Jack Hawksmoor, is in trouble and he needs your help. I’m Melinda, by the way.”
The black limousine rushed down the freeway, ignoring red traffic lights and heading straight towards the airport. Dave, the wuss, was silently weeping on the whole drive. Melinda, a hot brunette, sighed at the view. In a dark, vibrant voice, she began to tell her story; "You see, Dave, the son of my brother will be the first man on Mars. His journey will mark the beginning of the colonization of the red planet, but in my time, all settlers are presumably dead, killed by a Martian killer virus, which our nephew accidentally unleashed. At least that's the official story from the authorities. Since I'm from your future, my ability to interfere in this timeline is very limited. I can't do this on my own, and so you gotta help me with my mission by warning Jack not to start his travel to Mars in order to save about twelve-hundred lives in the future. Got that?"
David, being all the emo kid he was, wept even a little bit more after hearing this.
"Stop that", said Melinda in a commanding tone, "stop that, I say! This shouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks."
David just cried harder, "Oh no. I’m gonna miss the Green Day concert next week!!"
"Don’t be stupid", said Melinda, "with my time machine I can return you to this very moment after you finish your mission."
Finally David got a grip on himself and stopped crying. Melinda sighed in relief and drew a gun from under the small desk which was attached to the driver's seat. David noticed nobody was actually driving the car- it seemed fully automated.
At the sight of the futuristic weapon, David gasped and asked, "What’s that supposed to mean?"
Melinda put the safety catch on again, pushed the gun into the shaking hands of David and calmly replied, "With that, you're going to kill your future nephew. You'll be getting life for this and I'll return to the future, but with your sacrifice you'll be saving hundreds of people from their certain death. Are you going to do it, my future lover?"
David got a boner...
"Say," he said, his eyes flicking down to glance at her very healthy bosom, "if we’re married, couldn't we, y'know...". David wasn't sure how to express himself. Oh, how different was reality from the sterilized fake set of a movie!
But Melinda brought her finger to his lips to silent his unintelligible mutter, grabbed his left hand and drew it slowly to her boobs. But in the very last second before his hand reached her vibrating and firm flesh, the car went out of control. A bright red light went on and off in the spacey passenger cabin and a shrill alert filled the air. Melinda and David were shaken all around the seats and David was fearfully crying, "What the **** is going on?", before everything went pitch dark before his eyes. When he woke up, he saw- HITLER!
He sat there on the floor of the office in awe, eye in eye with the Fuhrer! So Melinda was telling the truth from the beginning on; She really was able to travel in time and the car had obviously been a mobile time machine or something, which ran out of control and randomly catapulted them into this time. Hitler stood up from his desk, slowly approached Dave and Melinda- who was lying knocked out on the floor- and when he came to within a few feet of David, he said quietly, so that it more resembled an angry hissing sound than a human voice: "Wer bist du?".
David began frantically groping Melinda, too frightened to actually enjoy it, but Hitler was faster: He grabbed David by his shoulder, pulling him up as he called for guards. Mere seconds later, two heavy-armed men entered the room and took the time-lost pair to a cell. One of them spoke a little bit of English, and he explained to David the situation they were in. Hitler feared that they might be English spies, and after interrogation they were probably to be executed in the morning.
As the trailing soldier of the pair was reaching to close the cell door behind him, Melinda woke up, first disorientated, and then slowly grasping what had happened in the last ten minutes. She laughed frantically; relieved they’d not had time to strip her.
She slapped her hip pocket hard like it was a pilot's harness release, and out in the hall, Hitler started to slap himself in the face. It was like Hitler had lost all control of his body. He took out a gun and shot himself right in the face.
A mass of broken cables and melted metals was seen inside Hitler's broken face.
"What the ****!", shouted a very confuzzled David.
“It’s just an android. Someone is trying to sabotage our mission. Come on David, we need to get out of here and find my car. We must figure out where and when we are”.
Suddenly, three guards appeared out of nothing before them.
"Teleportation! That means we’re really in the future; might be even a timeline more advanced than mine!" said Melinda.
The guards were obviously androids; when they talked together it sounded like an ancient modem connecting to the Internet.
"Melinda, we gotta find the car; this place is gonna make me **** myself!"
The guards were raising mechanical arms, their hands hinging open at the wrists, revealing cavities where bones and flesh should have been were they human. Out of those cavities, a gleaming light came, glowing more and more intensely by the second. The guards otherwise stood still, still tracking every movement David and Melinda made.
Then she realized what was going on, "They're charging their energy cannons! We're gonna die if we don't get away from them now!"
Melinda grabbed a still-paralyzed David by the wrist and pulled him with her towards the cell door.
As they rushed out into the cold and dark outside, they heard something like the shot of a gun, but much louder than an ordinary igniting bullet could have ever made. The cell they’d bolted from was now filled with a blue and unearthly light, and small bolts of electricity, pure energy it seemed, were circulating all around the walls and furniture. It felt like the moment before a big explosion, and the pair forced themselves to run away as fast as their shaky legs could take them.
They were running through a big open area. In the distance they spotted a lighted opening and turned to go in that direction. David, less afraid of exploding androids than Hitler, finally noticed something strange; their strides were unnaturally long and lofty, with each step taking them a dozen meters farther.
"Where are we?" whined David.
"My best guess is somewhere on the Moon", answered Melinda, "but the real questions are: Who brought us here, why, and how?"
They were swiftly proceeding to the open space ahead of them when they heard a voice reverberating through a Public Address System: "My dear uncle and aunt, where do you think you’re going? There’s no place to hide. Surrender now and I promise not to harm you."
"Jack", they said simultaneously.
A silence fell upon the scene, the pursuing androids had finally charged enough energy and fired their energy blasts. David and Melinda stood stunned and were unable to move an inch.
Then they disappeared yet again and in the next second, they stood on a metallic, polished floor, very much unlike the dusty, grey ground they’d trod a second before.
A voice imbued with malice and ill-will which seemed to come from everywhere around them asked again, "Where do you think you're going; this is my turf and you are intruders here!"
Melinda made a few steps forward, unconsciously protecting her future husband behind her. "I’m Melinda Hawksmoor and this teenager behind me is David, your uncle from the past. We don't know what happened, but we accidentally happened to come to this place in this particular timeline. I'm not sure if it was a malfunction of the photon flux generator or..."
"Silence!", the voice boomingly interrupted her, "I know exactly who you are and from where you come from. You planned to eliminate my past, to kill me as an infant, but now on my turn I'm going to eliminate your future!"
They heard a faint burst of static; obviously he had turned off the communication system. At the very end of the rectangular room they stood in, a door opened and in the light streaming through the now-revealed entrance, the broad-shouldered silhouette of a man with greasy, long dark hair could be recognized.
"My dear uncle and aunt, finally, oh finally, I see you both together, from face to face! It took a long time to sabotage your time machine, but I must admit that my plan to lure you guys into my Moon Base just worked marvelously!"
"What do you mean with 'your plan', you freak?", an increasingly enraged Melinda asked the man- who on a closer look appeared to even more insane than he’d sounded before.
"You see, my good aunt, I sent dozens of android agents into the past to watch every action you might come up to against me; for example your manager, David- this Ricardelli guy, or your mom’s new boyfriend-"
"I ****ing knew it!", David interrupted his speech spontaneously. “The guy was just talking ****, but sometimes he used some weird words I've never heard before in my life, like 'Shanagizzl' or some crap like that. I knew that there was something fishy about that guy."
Jack's grin became wider and wider as he was listening to David and he said: "Yeah, you see, in my time, we say 'Shanagizzl' when we're mad or angry about something or someone; it's slang."
He took a pause, closed his eyes and laid his head back. He audibly exhaled some air, then he said in a very low voice which only Melinda could hear from her position in front of David, "How long? For how long did you know that I deliberately tried to get rid off all the human scum on the face of the Mars?"
"Deliberately? What the hell are you talking about?"
“Oh, don’t even pretend, Aunt Mel. Didn’t you know how they polluted Mars, how they filthened up that place with their greed and their perpetual strife for money and pleasure? Well, I decided a long ago to make them stop and created a virus which would show those...animals their boundaries!"
Melinda couldn't believe what she was hearing; all her memories about Jack as a peaceful and nature-loving child, - the stories and news reports about how that horrible incident happened- shattered and crumbled now like shards of glass. In this moment they were replaced instantly with the image of a homicidal maniac who was responsible for the greatest tragedy in the history of Extraterrestrial colonization; a monster, but still, the only child of her only brother Steve, who was among the settlers dead that day.
"You...you beast, did you mean that even killing your own father was it worth that? How are you ever going to look in the mirror again with this shame?"
Jack lowered his countenance and stood in the same position for a long while. David, who had only that afternoon been merely a regular student and unambitious fry cook, was absolutely startled by what he had seen in this future; he still didn’t know how to react.
Finally, Jack raised up his head again, tears flowing down his cheeks. David was even more shocked to see that than anything else he had experienced so far on the journey.
"Yet, there is still another, very important reason why I couldn't allow those reckless fools going rampage on the surface of Mars anymore. Please forgive me, but after you'll see what I mean, I think you might understand my reasons, at least partially."
He turned away from them and made his way back to the gate again. He was waving his arm and said: "Melinda, Uncle Dave, follow me, you two." David and his wife obeyed, slowly following him towards the glowing portal.
The shock that greeted then on the other side was understandable: A seven-foot high, wolf-like creature with a nearly opaque, grey skin was sleeping in the other end of the room.
David, again on the verge of breaking out into tears due to sheer shock was harshly hushed by Jack.
"Quiet, you idiot, don't wake it up now! It’ll be just hungry and unbearable when it wakes up, and I'm all out of food at the moment."
"What is that?" asked Melinda, unbelieving.
"It's a Vergophlox, one of the few creatures which emerged from the barren wastelands of Mars. They’re what I was trying to protect by killing all those people."
"Are you ****ing nuts, Jack? You went havoc because of these ugly *****es??" David inquired with a disbelieving, shaky voice.
"Well, you don't understand; those beasts are quite worthless in my opinion, at least not nearly as precious as a human life, but this massive disturbance by the settlers had to stop, because when the Verges were awakened in their innumerable hordes, unbelievably terrible things would have happened to those people; it would have ended incomparably worse than a quick, painless death by the virus, even the Earthlings themselves would've been exposed to a grave danger."
"Like what exactly?"
And in that moment the Vergophlox slowly raised his eyelids; suddenly they were all soaking wet, like they’d had each had a bucket of water thrown on them.
David looked frantically around, trying to find a place to hide, when his roaming eyes passed over Melinda. He was mesmerized by her figure. She was dripping wet, her clothes clinging very close to her supple and soft body, showing her ample bosom and well defined, heart-shaped buttocks.
David felt the first stirrings of an undefined emotion rising from his groin. He recognized it as lust and was reaching out to grope Melinda when Jack said "Oh shanagizzl, damnit! It's awake, now we're in real ****ing trouble! Melinda, do you have a g-".
He couldn't finish his sentence, for the raging beast had raised its arm in a coherent, almost elegant, lightning movement and slapped Jack all across the room, where he smashed into the bookshelf which stood against the stony wall.
The vergophlox laid his eyes now on David and Melinda and was beginning to proceed towards them. Every step he took was done in a ridiculously elaborate, dance-like fashion as though it was doing ballet, but its broad, open mouth which displayed razorblade-sharp, saliva-covered teeth in the color of ivory dismissed very efficiently any impression that this creature was harmless or to be taken as something less dangerous.
Melinda reacted quickly despite her shock; drew a gun out of her pocket and pulled the trigger. A blue ring of energy emerged out of the barrel, hitting the beast right on its forehead.
"Good shot!" commented David.
The vergophlox's massive form went rigid; a second later it was collapsing to the floor, where its heavy weight made the ground shake. Now unconscious, it looked like a shapeless pile of shallowly-breathing rotten flesh, very much unlike the vicious, agile creature they'd witnessed a moment before.
David rushed to the still form of his nephew. "Jack, Jack, are you alright?" he whispered, but there was no answer. Jack’s chest moved as he breathed, but a disturbingly ample volume of blood was dripping out of a wound on his head.
Melinda stripped off her coat and wrung it out. “We’ve gotta keep him warm. I don’t know how we’ll get to the bottom of this without his explanation.”
David froze when he turned to her. She was all dripping wet, a true feast for the eyes. In the opposite corner of the room, the vergophlox, breathing heavily, exhaled loudly a final time and passed out completely. A thick cloud of vapor escaped its mouth and hovered a few seconds before dispersing into tiny drops of icy water like a fine rain.
"Quick Dave, search for a belt, a leash, something like that which has a bunch of buttons on it!"
David snapped out of his stupor as he was idly standing besides his nephew, who was quite rapidly bleeding to death.
"Wha...what do you mean by that, Mel?" he asked, confused about her order.
"A teleportation device! Do you remember those guards outside which were suddenly appearing out of nowhere? That was the technique of teleportation! In my time, we have already conducted some experiments about that, but with almost no success coming out of it. But I'm really sure that Jack has a device like that somewhere lying around here, how else could he have maintained this base? There's not like a WalMart just around the corner, you know? Quick, there's just gotta be something helpful in this room to bring Jack back to Earth, or else, I'm afraid he's going to die before our eyes!"
David understood. Together they scoured the room for something which might fit Melinda's description, and after a couple of frantic minutes, David finally drew a thin band out of black, polished leather with a LCD display and three scarlet buttons on its front, out of the drawer he'd just opened.
"Melinda, come over here; is it that for which you were looking for?"
She was a delight to see as she rushed to his side, her thin white shirt rendered largely transparent by moisture. David, who had never seen such a magnificent body on a woman outside browsing internet porn, once again forgot the urgent matter of life and death at hand and began to reach for her.
“David, stop staring at my boobs and help me lift Jack up!"
"Oops; my bad!" David said a little embarrassed.
Together they pulled Jack's inanimate body in a sitting position so that they could put the belt around his waist. It was a difficult task with his dead weight. David asked, “Why don't we just put it around your waist and you hold me and Jack by your hands?"
"Because I'm not entirely sure if the energy of it will suffice to bring the three of us together back to Earth. So even if we can't make it, at least Jack will arrive there and get the medical attention he needs."
David was too distracted by her jiggling chest as she struggled with the unconscious man’s body to register that she proposed possibly sacrificing themselves for the sake of a ruthless mass murderer.
When they got the belt on Jack, Melinda began programming the belt with the help of a little display and the buttons to bring them to David's hometown, Columbus, in the approximate area of the hospital.
"The precision of these things is amazing! I mean, we’re millions of miles away from Earth itself, but you can still determine the exact street this belt is going to transport us to!"
Melinda had just finished typing coordinates into the device and then hesitated for a moment before, accompanied by a barely audible sigh, she proceeded to push the button amongst the other ones which was slightly bigger and shinier than them.
"I hope we don’t get ripped apart by..."
"Wha-" but too late; the three of them disappeared in a swirl of energy and cold, blue fire.
A jarring pain throughout his bones and nerves hit David for some seconds after they clumsily touched the ground again. He yelped with surprise that they really did make it. Then he looked around: Was this really Columbus? Obviously yes, it was, but it still looked very different in a freaky and futuristic way.
"Welcome to the world of tomorrow, Dave", Melinda said and smiled in his direction. Now, would you be so kind to hail me a cab?"
An hour later, as they tiredly exited the Emergency Room and went for a quick snack from the vending machines, which David found were offering everything from powdered coca leafs to tiny hologram projectors which produced the dancing image of a naked woman when activated, he turned to Melinda, who, even exhausted and in her distraught state looked splendid - just as she had proven to be an equally splendid liar in the story she told the ER personnel- and said, “What now?”
“Rest while we wait for word,” she said, “Clean up. Get some clean clothes. First hun, let’s go to the library, to the theater, to a restaurant, I'm so excited to ask you about the past, about how the people then behaved, which clothes they wore, simply anything!"
"I...I have no disposable cash to do with you all of this. I had planned to spend all my savings ne-next week on the Green Day concert and I can't waste even one penny!"
"Green Day? Never heard of them, are they famous?"
After a quick meal of Augmented bacon and eggs, as it turned out they’d materialized at barely past dawn and were still palatable, and a change of clothes, courtesy of Melinda’s credit chip, they felt ready to take on a new world.
David had gotten shorts, and a pullover shirt something like a tee but with a strange collar. It seemed to be summer in this version of Columbus. He couldn’t help but sneer at the golf cap he had to wear if he wasn’t going to stand out; men seemed to all wear hats outside, like they were in a really old movie.
Melinda had purchased a very modest polka dot one-piece dress. It was white, with purple dots that set off her dark blue eyes. She looked like the farmer’s daughter- -the one in dirty jokes. The simple dress did nothing to conceal that she was every inch a very healthy young woman, a look combining virginal and voluptuous in a fashion that had David trying desperately to look casual while holding his cap in front of him as they exited the shop.
The two of them spent the next few hours walking through the futuristic streets, paid a short visit to Lake Michigan - which had in that time become a lot smaller - and visited, via Magtube -the trip took ten minutes!- the WW3 memorial in Seattle, the new capital of America, or more accurately, the NAU. David marveled at all the wonders of this time, and slowly he forgot all about the unreal sight of the vergophlox, the Hitler android and even...Jack.
But not Melinda. David couldn’t forget the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen for a second. He could feel her beside him as they walked, like a heat was radiating from her body. When she casually held his hand on the magtube ride, chatting merrily away, David had to take off his hat again.
The motel they checked into that night wasn’t much different than those of David’s time - save that the door keys were stamped in silvery ink on the back of their hands by the desk clerk, as though the place were a nightclub.
When Melinda emerged from the shower later, clad in a pink towel not entirely up to the job, David sat up on the bed, instantly clasping his hands in his lap, his mouth gaping open. Melinda laughed merrily at his goofy expression as she picked up the purse/overnight bag she’d purchased that morning and turned back to the bathroom. “I’ll be right out, hun. Go to sleep. It’s been a long day, alright.”
Tired as he was - he’d been up most of a day when they met and this HAD been a long, albeit wonderful, day - sleep was the last thing on David’s mind. He turned out the light and slipped under the covers. ‘This is it,’ he thought, ‘she rented a one-bed room. Holy shit! This is DEFINITELY it!’
When Melinda came out and got in bed, she rolled onto her side, her back to him. David rolled over and put his hand on her hip. “Melinda-“ he said.
Crap! She had on a nightgown!
“Dave, I can’t,” she said wearily without turning over, “I’ve been awake over thirty six hours, hun, and I just can’t. Snuggle in behind me and let’s get some sleep before we start hallucinating. I like it when you hold me at night.”
David did as he was told, though he had the most achingly hard erection of his entire life and actual spooning was too embarrassing. Her perfume didn’t help. To his surprise, the pain didn’t keep him awake five minutes.
When he awoke in the middle of the night, still rock hard, to find her wonderfully muscular rump pushed against his crotch, he was still too tired to do anything but think ‘Huh. The perfect woman snores a little,’ before lapsing back to sleep.
The next day, when they were lying on the grass of a Columbus park, sunbathing and calmly smoking their Super Tobacco cigarettes, Melinda's cell phone rang, and after the brief talk she turned to David and said, "He's fully recovered, Dave, let's roll! This evening we are going to hear everything!"
David was saddened that the best day and a half of his life- spending here and now vacationing with Melinda- had come so abruptly to an end. On the cab ride to the hospital, Melinda was obviously very eager to get the complete story- David more like a clam which had closed again after really opening up for the first time in its life.
Jack was asleep when they entered his room, and an android nurse told them to have patience until he woke on his own. A thick layer of bandages were wrapped around Jack's head, covering the wound near his temple.
Ten minutes later, Jack’s eyelids opened in a quick, single movement, as though somebody had just shocked him.
"Where am I? ...oh yeah, hospital; I remember."
"Hiya, Jack!" chirped Melinda enthusiastically, "how are you feeling today?"
"Not too good, but not too bad either," he turned his heavy head to David, "And what's your deal, sport; enjoying the future so far?"
Jack sighed and then closed his eyes again, every attempt of speech and focusing his eye view seemed to still cause him a lot of pain.
"You know, Mel and Dave, we must return to my base as soon as possible. We just can't let the vergophlox be on his own. Melinda, what exactly happened after I passed out?"
"I shot it with my ray gun, right on its ugly forehead!"
"Oh ****; I was afraid you’d done that. Listen, the nurse told me that by tomorrow, I'm free again to leave this hospital whenever I please, so prepare yourselves, for next morning we're going back to the Moon."
"Why? Just let this ugly beast starve, start a new life on Earth, find a job..."
"Rubbish! Now that the vergophlox is hurt, it will be terribly angry when it wakes. I'm the only person who knows how to deal with those creatures when they are in a mood like that, but I'm afraid my physical condition isn't allowing me to do handle that fleabag all by myself. Listen, all I want is to prevent more trouble, more casualties than have already happened; if this creature decides it's time to take revenge for the settlers disturbing its sleep, and now that another human even dared to shoot him, then terrible things are going to happen on this planet. By all means, we must return and see what we can do about it. Period!"
"But what is going to happen if this vergo-whatever..."
"They are called vergophloxes, David", Jack interrupted him calmly.
"Okay, so what exactly can this vergophlox do against the people of Earth? I mean, its whereabouts at the moment, the freaking moon, are not exactly in our neighborhood, right?"
"It will howl,” Jack asserted, “He's gonna assemble all his brethren, his countless children, siblings, tribes, whatever you'd call them, and they would all fly here, slavering with vendetta for our crimes against them- committed by those foolish Martian settlers."
“Fly through interplanetary space?” Melinda said, incredulous, “Was it the vergophlox who dowsed us when it woke up? What else can those things do?" And after a long pause she added: "What the f*** is going on, Jack?"
"Not now, you two. I'm tired- I'm exhausted from making plans the whole time since I regained consciousness the first time last night. Pack your suitcases; I want to see you both ready for a flight tomorrow."
Almost instantly, he fell into an unnaturally light sleep; obviously the drugs trickling through the IV in his forearm were kicking in.
"Melinda", David asked her on their way back to the motel, "in what year are we exactly"?
Doesn't count as a "One Word Story", as you are the primary author of the vast majority of the material.