Pls post something funny

I have just lost my mind playing and playing and playing chess.
Now all I want is something funny.
It may be a joke, it may be a riddle, it may a real life story, anything that would bring a smile on everyone's face. Let me start.

Teacher- How would u catch a squirrel?
Student- Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Teacher- What is your name
Student- John Edwards
Teacher- Whenever you are speaking to me, address me with sir. Now tell me again, what is your name?
Student -Sir John Edwards

Teacher (to 2 students)- You and your companion have written same word by word essay on the topic 'A cow'. How is that possible?
One of the students- It was the same cow.

Teacher- If I lay 3 eggs here and 2 eggs there, how many eggs would have I laid in total?
Student- I don't think you can do that, sir.

piv.pivpiv.dk/

I have another teacher Student joke

Teacher wrote in the blackboard 'I ain't had any fun this summer'
Teacher- What should I do to correct this?
Student- Get a boyfriend!

Teacher (Asking all students) - What's the spiciest item you ever ate?
Student (One of the student) - My father's tight slap!

I don't do requests

What will the soldier say if he is in a war to thank someone?
ANS: Tanks!!

Тук тук кто дет пихто

A man was told to follow all instructions written in the medicine botle after some time instructer was waiting for that man to give him the medicine but he saw that the man was trying to cut the spoon 🥄
The instucter asked what are you doing the msn said

It is written drink half spoon medicine so I am cuting
The spoon in a half 😂🤣🤣

So I was in my room and I saw a group of ten ants just running around frantically. I felt badly for them so I made a small house for them. out of a cardboard box.
This technically makes me their landlord and they are my.....

Tenants

What's the difference between me and a cardboard box?
A cardboard box isn't always empty on the inside.

:(