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I fear playing live chess

@EmaciatedSpaniard said in #12:
> @lion20133 Please consider deleting your post since it doesn't belong in this forum. I guess something went wrong. Thanks!

It's a shame that as the OP, I cannot do that myself, but I suppose this is a public forum, and public can sometimes be this way! :(
@Rookitiki said in #8:

> €2: now that i kinda got the grasp of the question at hand: chess is very complicated. some of the core concepts of it drive against deeply rooted irrational fallacies we implemented during our time on earth (adult learner here). it can be very humbling. dont take this personal, but understand it as a chance to improve yourself. again: its you against a position of pieces. there is no opponent basically but yourself (in slow time controls at least - flagging can be a different matter).

I have been trying to do this actually, I can imagine an OTB tournament that egos would definitely get in the way, but you are right, that at each point in a chess game you are "playing the position, not the opponent" - I am a big fan of snooker and it is exactly the same in snooker, you are always playing the table, not the opponent.

I have a question based on calculation which I have just thought of. I know during calculation I am supposed to find the best move for my opponent, but I really struggle with finding a good move for my opponent without flipping the board, and seeing it from my perspective. Obviously I wouldn't be able to flip the board in a real OTB tourny and 1 day I would like to compete in 1, so I need to learn how to calculate for them from my position. Is that again just an experience thing, and it gets easier to find the best moves for your opponent as you do it more? Does anyone have any suggestions in terms of improving ones calculation please?

Also, and I think I will answer this one myself, but just for clarification, at my current level, usually the best move I find for my opponent is not the move they make, maybe it is because they are finding a better move than me, or maybe it is because they are not playing very accurately, I assume I should still always try to find the best move for them because as I improve they will start finding the best moves in any given position, if that makes sense.
@Rookitiki (#14) It's a very interesting question and well posed. I wonder if it wouldn't benefit from its own forum post? It might get diluted here because others will be discussing the fear factor, rather than the point-of-view problem with calculation.
I can relate to feeling 'a kind of fear'. In my case, it has various ingredients:
1) There is a competitive part.. Playing chess, I am going into a fight with someone. And only if I am much better or much worse, by rating or by position, will I be all relaxed here.
2) .. and there's a moral part. Do I have the right to play chess? And only if I have earned my right to engage in a pastime or if I managed to make a living by playing chess will I be fully relaxed here.
If 1) and 2) are somehow fairly dealt with: concerning 1) like in 'It's fine I'll always be a little anxious during a game'; concerning 2) like in 'A bit of chess practice does help me to do better in life altogether'
3) .. there is more fear and anxiety: Do I play in spirit with chess, am I learning, do I see my opponent, do I find keys to the secrets of the game, do the puzzle pieces found reflecting chess gimmie a big picture, will I mind findings during a game, will we ever hear but chess soul when we play? :)
"Do I have the right to play chess? And only if I have earned my right to engage in a pastime or if I managed to make a living by playing chess will I be fully relaxed here."

Wow--you're a stern taskmaster. :)
@papalazarou
Yeah, that would be called as fear.
At your level, it's not new. I have quite a few saying that they fear playing live chess as well.
You should play as you want now, that is, correspondence.
But remember that, "All we have to fear is fear itself" (Quoted by President Roosevelt)
So, you need to be accustomed to live chess so that the terror doesn't strike you!
I would also say 'play more' is the best solution indeed.

But if for some reason you choke up, perhaps this helps: Just play through some games of your opponents here on Lichess. Take some time doing that. No pressure.
Soon you will realise that every one of them makes a lot of really obvious blunders. (like hanging a queen). Probably that will help you relax a little bit.
For me, the solution to your problem was: play gambits. My fear was of being one pawn down and squeezed out in an endgame. Gambits solve that by voluntarily going one pawn down, and getting comfortable, hopefully, with playing with material disadvantage. If you lose, blame it on the gambit.
The challenge of getting initiative in a gambit position is more enticing than finding a dozen correct positional moves in an even position.
At our level, both players will likely be out of book early, which is an equalizing dynamic. With bold action, fear tends to fade away.

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