Social manners

@Chessty_McBiggins I agree. Cool username... McBiggins!

A woman I went to high school with (30 years ago) became a stripper and her stage name was Chesty McBiggins, which is just about the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. It's stayed with me all these years.

@Onyx_Chess , in my opinion there is nothing wrong with the atmosphere here. Oh, by the way... Hi everyone! Good games! Have fun!)

@Chessty_McBiggins

You said: "Imagine depending so much on an anonymous stranger saying hi over the Internet that you feel the need to whine about it publicly when it doesn't happen."

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For me, at least, the idea was never about any 'personal preference' one way or another.

For me, the idea was to act in a way that would put Lichess WAY above and WAY beyond any other chess site out there. I'm talking COMPLETELY unrivaled in ways that no other site can accidentally duplicate, or duplicate without matching the same amount of work that we put in.

This goes right back to people:

a) treating lichess like a public urinal at a football match
b) treating it like a sacred, valued, personal, possession

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Also, note, nothing I proposed had anything to do with the obnoxious element.
It had everything to do with starting a kind of 'personality' anti-virus that would slowly take over.

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What we are seeing here is a reflection of the experience that people have had here.

If people had had a personalized and social experience, then that is the behavior that more people would be more likely to reflect.

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It's not really theoretical because I have 1000s of hours of empirical experience and results working with "precedent sets protocol" psychology in this exact same field.

There is absolutely a variation where everyone setting foot here can be *MADE* to say, "Holy crap...Lichess is full up with the coolest mofos on this planet. All in one spot. I can't believe it. I'm never leaving."

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I doubt that this perspective is what the OP had in mind...which is why I made a clear distinction between 'helping' and 'whining'...but it's where I was coming from.

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@GoatsAndGhosts It's amazing the effect that those last 6 words have on most people.

The snarkiest snobs might also be the loudest 5%, but that doesn't mean that 95% of the people who read "hi everyone, good games, have fun" don't derive a good amount of common courtesy, good cheer, and appreciate the general social purchase from reading those kinds of well-intentioned and heartfelt comments.

Those 6 little words make a HUGE different.
My idea was to find enough people that understand the value in them.
My idea was to effectively standardize that vibe.

I'm not reading all that stuff you wrote, because I don't care.

I was referring to the person who started the thread, in any case.

Behaving fair during the game is by far more more important than some pointless words before and after.

I say gg before an offline encounter accompanied by a handshake before and after. Online nothing at all.

But even so: the loser congratulates the loser. You don't deliver checkmate and stretch out for a handshake. Wait til your opponent does so.

I never say gg when I win. I almost never use that word. But OTB, I shake hands before and after all tournament games without being consciously aware of what @Sarg0n has said.

I always greet opponents that i meet before and have played many Ub games with.

A very few persons i chat with here on lichess, for example Rhino a very nice and skilled and passionated UB player. Another indian player, i spoke a little as well we played over 500 ub matches alone.

If I have a really excited Ub match i say GG or something because, in UB u feel it if its a good game only or a very very good and excited game.

Its not all about to win, its a part to grow with the game and to have fun.

@Onyx_Chess, as I already said, it seems to me that there is nothing wrong with the atmosphere on Lichess, except for some people's hypocrisy, sometimes, which with the pretext of establishing some weird, inquisitorial rules, they use words like "imbecilic", "public urinal", etc.

@GoatsAndGhosts

That's WAY too much ad hominem for my taste!
I recognize your concession and accept your resignation.

As for the "inquisitorial rules"...those are people VOLUNTEERING themselves to be static fixtures of positivity who are dedicated to exerting irresistible influence.

You're talking about people that volunteer to:

1. Make sure that new people get a warm welcome.
2. Always be positive, never be negative.

"HOW DRACONIAN!"

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The fact that anyone would even TRY to bastardize this kind of an agenda says everything about them and nothing about the agenda.

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Too bad that the negative 5% of are the most vocal.
Too bad that there is not yet a thick collective dedicated to drowning them out.