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When you can't find a plan over the board...

...you piss away winning advantages. Christ almighty this game murdered my morale.

55 seconds for move number 12.., this is not good.
If you can't find a move, just make a waiting move.
maybe instead of a pawn push at move 34, maybe Qc6 with the idea to attack the rook, and then take the pawn on h6, since it's defender is pinned by your rook. Once he pushes the pawn or something, you can take the knight.
It's difficult to do all this when you are playing on shorter time controls but generally speaking when I'm playing well this is my thought process to find a good move. This process is done both ways for myself and my opponent.

1) Checks, are there any checks? If so are they worth delivering or do they just waste tempos or help position the king into a better square. Always check the checks first.

2) Captures / undefended pieces (Like 4 pieces attacking a pawn defended 3 times or pieces that are not guarded)

3) Threats, is a fork or skewer or other tactic coming.

If none of these are obvious then I start to think about what piece of mine is worst and how to improve it, or how I can minimize my opponents options.

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