Bad sportsmanship after games

@TALLFOAMYANGEL said in #10:
> step 1: block the player.
> tip: don't accept any challenges from that user just ignore it, the best way to silence haters is just not to respond.

Have you even read the post? He said he wants to play him. If you block him then no chance of that. And more likely he blocks you than you block him.

@TheKingClash said in #1:
> I have recently heard about some complaints that people don't accept rematches, but in my opinion, players have the right to decide whether to accept a rematch or not. However, I think the experience I had was bad sportmanship, annoying and just wasted my time.
>
> I played a game of three check, I was black, and my opponent crushed me and won in only a few moves. I asked for a rematch, he declined, but that was fine, as explained in the first paragraph. The problem came about when I returned to the lobby to play another game.
>
> The problem was when the same opponent made another lobby challenge. Seeing that this was the only three check challenge available, I accepted the challenge, and I got to play white. My opponent then waited for his clock to run down, hence the game was aborted automatically.
>
> To further enrage me, when returning to the lobby a second time today, the same opponent had made another lobby challenge and again I accepted, and again I got to play white. The opponent aborted the game a second time.
>
> Either the opponent aborted the second and third games because he wanted to play white, or because he did not want to play me again in a lobby challenge. I think that whichever reason is true, in my opinion this is bad sportsmanship. Everyone is welcome to share their thoughts on this, is that behaviour (aborting two consecutive games in a row, against the same opponent, when he made an open lobby challenge) allowed on Lichess or not, and what should I do?

Probably because he doesn't want to play you again, because if he wanted to be white, couldn't he just create a challenge as white and not random?

@DragonArcher said in #11:
> Have you even read the post? He said he wants to play him. If you block him then no chance of that. And more likely he blocks you than you block him.
But if he's being disrespectful then don't play with him. Play with somebody else.

@TALLFOAMYANGEL said in #13:
> But if he's being disrespectful then don't play with him. Play with somebody else.
He's technically not being disrespectful. He didn't say any mean words or disrupt your privacy or something like that.

@TALLFOAMYANGEL said in #13:
> But if he's being disrespectful then don't play with him. Play with somebody else.
As he said, it was the ONLY 3+ challenge.

If you reject a rematch the implicit message is "I don't want to play with you again right now", for whatever reason. Imagine that you keep making new lobbies, but the same guy keeps coming in. At worst it's some sort of harassment, at best a guy who can't take a hint. You were probably blundering socially there.

I understand it was the only game in the lobby, but you still had the option of making your own. I know that open games are free for everyone to join, but that argument is implying that you need to be blocked in order to not bother other people; as if you were somebody that doesn't understand or care about unspoken rules and is going to push the situation to the very limit of what the written rules allow. It wouldn't be too nice if everyone were like that. (I'm sure you're not a horrible person, you probably just didn't think about it too much and had a lapse in your common sense. It can happen to anyone.)

As for the advice of messaging the guy and asking, consider it could come across as pushy and confirm any bad impression he might have of you. If he hasn't blocked you yet he will probably do it when you start questioning him. What I mean is that from his point of view you were pretty rude too.

Of course he might be a guy trying to abuse the system and play only white, but you have no way of knowing. If you choose to believe the worst possible scenario, you're just gonna be mad and bitter, and he's living in your head rent free. But if you choose to think nothing of it, then it didn't matter, and you are free to give your time and attention to other issues that do matter in your life. Don't give some random guy in a game control over your emotions.

Anyway, in one scenario you are the bully, and in the other you are the emotional victim of some random dude and yourself. Or you can forget about it all and just be happy. Maybe you want a fourth option that will make you feel even better than the third? Then get a load of this: I would message him to apologize for not taking the hint. I would compliment him on playing really good back there and wish him a good day. I bet that would feel real good; I'd pick that over being mad any day.

@TheKingClash said in #1:
> I have recently heard about some complaints that people don't accept rematches, but in my opinion, players have the right to decide whether to accept a rematch or not. However, I think the experience I had was bad sportmanship, annoying and just wasted my time.
>
> I played a game of three check, I was black, and my opponent crushed me and won in only a few moves. I asked for a rematch, he declined, but that was fine, as explained in the first paragraph. The problem came about when I returned to the lobby to play another game.
>
> The problem was when the same opponent made another lobby challenge. Seeing that this was the only three check challenge available, I accepted the challenge, and I got to play white. My opponent then waited for his clock to run down, hence the game was aborted automatically.
>
> To further enrage me, when returning to the lobby a second time today, the same opponent had made another lobby challenge and again I accepted, and again I got to play white. The opponent aborted the game a second time.
>
> Either the opponent aborted the second and third games because he wanted to play white, or because he did not want to play me again in a lobby challenge. I think that whichever reason is true, in my opinion this is bad sportsmanship. Everyone is welcome to share their thoughts on this, is that behaviour (aborting two consecutive games in a row, against the same opponent, when he made an open lobby challenge) allowed on Lichess or not, and what should I do?

I've been on the opposite end of this situation and the reasoning was purely that I wanted to play someone else. It has happened after I won the initial game. It has happened after I lost the initial game. The game result wasn't a factor. I enjoyed my game with that person, but now I am looking to try a different opponent. You mentioned over the board chess, I guess it would be like if you got paired with the same person twice in a row (keep in mind I am referring to rapid or classical games). I will often accept the rematch in blitz games, because the games are very short. But in long games, I prefer to play a different person every time if possible. I am certainly not trying to be rude, and I have no negative feelings toward the person when I decline the rematch. Hopefully this was the case in your described situation. I think after he declined the rematch and you joined his new game, yeah he probably thought it was a tad pushy. You said he won quickly, so maybe he wasnt interested afterwards. If it were me in his situation I'd probably think to myself, "Aren't we persistent? Fine. I'll smash you again" and then played out the game. But I am not in his head so I cant tell you for sure why he did what he did.

@TheKingClash said in #1:
> I have recently heard about some complaints that people don't accept rematches, but in my opinion, players have the right to decide whether to accept a rematch or not. However, I think the experience I had was bad sportmanship, annoying and just wasted my time.
>
> I played a game of three check, I was black, and my opponent crushed me and won in only a few moves. I asked for a rematch, he declined, but that was fine, as explained in the first paragraph. The problem came about when I returned to the lobby to play another game.
>
> The problem was when the same opponent made another lobby challenge. Seeing that this was the only three check challenge available, I accepted the challenge, and I got to play white. My opponent then waited for his clock to run down, hence the game was aborted automatically.
>
> To further enrage me, when returning to the lobby a second time today, the same opponent had made another lobby challenge and again I accepted, and again I got to play white. The opponent aborted the game a second time.
>
> Either the opponent aborted the second and third games because he wanted to play white, or because he did not want to play me again in a lobby challenge. I think that whichever reason is true, in my opinion this is bad sportsmanship. Everyone is welcome to share their thoughts on this, is that behaviour (aborting two consecutive games in a row, against the same opponent, when he made an open lobby challenge) allowed on Lichess or not, and what should I do?

Let's ruin the topic by just quoting it xD

@TheKingClash said in #1:
> I have recently heard about some complaints that people don't accept rematches, but in my opinion, players have the right to decide whether to accept a rematch or not. However, I think the experience I had was bad sportmanship, annoying and just wasted my time.
>
> I played a game of three check, I was black, and my opponent crushed me and won in only a few moves. I asked for a rematch, he declined, but that was fine, as explained in the first paragraph. The problem came about when I returned to the lobby to play another game.
>
> The problem was when the same opponent made another lobby challenge. Seeing that this was the only three check challenge available, I accepted the challenge, and I got to play white. My opponent then waited for his clock to run down, hence the game was aborted automatically.
>
> To further enrage me, when returning to the lobby a second time today, the same opponent had made another lobby challenge and again I accepted, and again I got to play white. The opponent aborted the game a second time.
>
> Either the opponent aborted the second and third games because he wanted to play white, or because he did not want to play me again in a lobby challenge. I think that whichever reason is true, in my opinion this is bad sportsmanship. Everyone is welcome to share their thoughts on this, is that behaviour (aborting two consecutive games in a row, against the same opponent, when he made an open lobby challenge) allowed on Lichess or not, and what should I do?

@TheKingClash , I Totally agree with u