I am genuinely totally confused about my ability

So from a very brief look ,
1. e4 invites black to try and win the fight for d4 square
2. Trading a relatively good knight for a bishop on e7 seems slow and risky
3. Adventurous 18. Kg3 seems too optimistic and
gives an easy play to black instead of something like Be3
finally developing rest of the pieces

in summary :)
never neglect developing pieces!!

@cap78red
Here is the computer analysis of that game. Black played well for his rating, but not exactly a gem, and nothing to suggest "hmmm.."

For black:
4 Inaccuracies
3 Mistakes
3 Blunders
64 Average centipawn loss

For white:
5 Inaccuracies
9 Mistakes
4 Blunders
95 Average centipawn loss

But relatively strong game from your opponent overall

@Paradise_Pete his errors were mainly not choosing the best winning lines but choosing inferior winning lines which shouldn't be regarded as an error in my book as he was winning nearly from start to finish. I have never seen such an overwhelming position and strong play and ive played IMs in otb.

Well, chess is a matter of enduring performance and not of „point“ performance. It is also not about „knowing“ it is rather about „doing“.

Elo and co. are measures of „combat skills“.

Once again I have to quote J.H. Donner:

"It is mainly the irreparability of a mistake that distinguishes chess from other sports. A whole game long and there is only one point to score. Just one mistake and the battle is lost, even though the fight may go on for hours. ... That's why a mistake hits so hard in chess.“

so when I as a 1400 elo player stood no chance when I beat a 3300 elo blitz player yaacov norowitz world blitz champion before it was a proper title. AT a one on one blitz game.

@cap78red Actually he missed 13 ...Bxf5 followed by 14...Nd4 which would have been very strong, taking advantage of the fact that you recaptured with the e pawn instead of the c pawn.

Then he played the weak 16 Be4+, giving up all of his advantage. Unfortunately you followed that with 18 Kg3 and 19 h4, restoring his advantage and then some. At that point his edge was more than +2.

Your characterization of the game does not fit Stockfish's analysis.

@Paradise_Pete stockfish is a poor analysis program, not even magnus cant play like it so why use its rather sledge hammer mechanical analysis-I use the much more human Fritz. Be4 is a move which severly weakens the kingside and is a brilliant move computers would struggle to find. Your reliance on computers for analysis is rather limiting your improvement I feel.

@itakeback it seems to me some people don't see that game played by the 1500 as truly brilliant, they are obvious cheats as a 2800 would struggle to do better in my eyes.

@cap78red OK cap, best of luck in your chess endeavors. Be4 is a bad move. Had he instead played f5 you were busted, as that's what would have exposed your kingside.

What actually exposed your king in the game is your own Kg3 and h4.

Anyway, you seem to have your own reality going there, so I'll leave you to it. I won't intrude again.