,,,
me, do you want a sandwich?
you, sure
me, okay heres a knuckle sandwich
you, sure
me, okay heres a knuckle sandwich
What's the short form of intestive care unit
ICU
I see u too
ICU
I see u too
"There is 40 parachutes and we are 39 people"
That one dyslexic guy trying to be a hero ;)
That one dyslexic guy trying to be a hero ;)
a pregnant woman was sh0t 3 times in the stomach.
she survived luckily enough and so were her unborn children. Triplets, she found out soon enough. Two girls and a boy.
They were born with absolutely no problems, healthy babies and unaffected by the trauma.
Fast forward 13 years, she's sitting in her kitchen, enjoying a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper when she hears a scream from upstairs. It was one of her daughters.
"MUM!", the girl screamed, running down the stairs. "I was peeing and a bullet came out!"
Shocked and surprised, the mother sat her down and told her what had happened to her when she was pregnant. "It won't happen again, sweetie," she said.
The next day, she's sitting in her kitchen, drinking her coffee and reading her newspaper, she hears a scream from upstairs. It was her other daughter.
"MUM!", the girl screamed, running down the stairs. "I was peeing and a bullet came out!"
Realising what was going on, the mother sat her down and told her the story that she told her sister. "It won't happen again, sweetie," she said.
That evening, she was having a glass of wine before bed, thinking about how absurd it was that both her daughters had pee'd out bullets over the past couple of days. She hears a scream. It was the last triplet, the son.
"MUM!"
"Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"
"What? No - I was having a w*nk and I shot the dog!"
she survived luckily enough and so were her unborn children. Triplets, she found out soon enough. Two girls and a boy.
They were born with absolutely no problems, healthy babies and unaffected by the trauma.
Fast forward 13 years, she's sitting in her kitchen, enjoying a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper when she hears a scream from upstairs. It was one of her daughters.
"MUM!", the girl screamed, running down the stairs. "I was peeing and a bullet came out!"
Shocked and surprised, the mother sat her down and told her what had happened to her when she was pregnant. "It won't happen again, sweetie," she said.
The next day, she's sitting in her kitchen, drinking her coffee and reading her newspaper, she hears a scream from upstairs. It was her other daughter.
"MUM!", the girl screamed, running down the stairs. "I was peeing and a bullet came out!"
Realising what was going on, the mother sat her down and told her the story that she told her sister. "It won't happen again, sweetie," she said.
That evening, she was having a glass of wine before bed, thinking about how absurd it was that both her daughters had pee'd out bullets over the past couple of days. She hears a scream. It was the last triplet, the son.
"MUM!"
"Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"
"What? No - I was having a w*nk and I shot the dog!"
What's the definition of eternal love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing Tennis.
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing Tennis.
Q: How do you tell twin witches apart?
A: It's hard to tell witch witch is witch.
A: It's hard to tell witch witch is witch.
@FQT said in #4:
> "There is 40 parachutes and we are 39 people"
>
> That one dyslexic guy trying to be a hero ;)
Dyslexia is just a reading and sometimes speaking disability. It doesn't mean you're an idiot.
> "There is 40 parachutes and we are 39 people"
>
> That one dyslexic guy trying to be a hero ;)
Dyslexia is just a reading and sometimes speaking disability. It doesn't mean you're an idiot.
Where is a grandmaster's heart located? Their chesst.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a hospital under a Labour government?
15
One to report it
One to read report and then pass it on to maintenance
One in maintenance to read report and pass it on
One to ask for funding for bulb
One to receive request for funding
One to review for funding and accept
One to buy light bulb
Then two to put up health and safety barriers to close off area
Two to change bulb ( one to climb ladder and one to hold ladder),
Two to remove barriers
One to sign off job.
One to give feedback on how satisfied they were with the work.
Costing about 400 quid.................Jobs for the boys!! xxx
15
One to report it
One to read report and then pass it on to maintenance
One in maintenance to read report and pass it on
One to ask for funding for bulb
One to receive request for funding
One to review for funding and accept
One to buy light bulb
Then two to put up health and safety barriers to close off area
Two to change bulb ( one to climb ladder and one to hold ladder),
Two to remove barriers
One to sign off job.
One to give feedback on how satisfied they were with the work.
Costing about 400 quid.................Jobs for the boys!! xxx
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