I am trading average chess ability for probably whatever you will offer

UPDATE- current top offer: the flu
still searching

@KJVo No actually I'm going over to the lichess practice page. Idk what you hope to achieve out of this the only practical trade is money and no offense but I doubt anyone would pay you for lessons when they could pay a master who already has a systematic setup for students. Some might say that this thread has the fingerprint of a troll. I hope that's not the case. No need to ping me again I have nothing else to give you after this comment good luck.

clousems, I am ever so faintly saddened by your ferocious replies to my ever so romantic phrasiologisms.
How did I ever deserve to be your master?

People come to Australia from all over the world just to get a glimpse of kangaroo crap.I fail to see them coming here to catch the flu.Maybe you thought my offer was a cruel jest..but it isn't.
However,if it must be a bidding war..I raise my offer to 50kgs Grade#A kangaroo crap PLUS 3 litres of Koala Urine.(Tourists pay big $$ to be photographed being pissed on by a Koala)
I've got the flu right now as well...but my flu is worse than @clousems .Or at least it was,2 days ago..almost cured now.

@Kanaan92 I am not actually trading anything, I actually thought we were all on the same page that this was a joke. bcuz wasted time that took to get a stupid number Lol

failing so hard in your desperate attempt to get some easy cash so you have to pretend it was satire all along

Definitely. not really though, obviously no one is going to pay me , and I wasn't offering lessons to begni with that is why I offered it like it was said it materal item lol. i wouldn't even let someone pay me, if someone wants lessons i will give free but i wont because i dont think i actually know anything about chess at all. only how to premove