Finding love on Lichess

@Burrower you know, my friend, I can't tell if you're spoofing us or not. I'm a naive person, yes frustratingly still after 60+ years, so I have tendency to take you at your word. However your posts and activities suggest you must be wiping tears of laughter off your face as you ponder 'at what rating level would a woman no longer find a man attractive' and so forth. A pondering which is at its heart absurd. So here I sit ponering you. I'm leaning toward this is hysterical for you, but, then there's gullible me. I just hope the shoe drops to settle the matter, the not knowing drives me nuts.

@killF7 You ask a valid question. I too am gullible, but I'm inclined to take it at face value.

@Burrower How do you know Foxier is even a woman?

@hampy I don't know his time zone, we'll probably have to wait. I think we're getting close to calling odds on a bet. You're thinking innocent, I'm leaning he's a comedian. I think you have to give me odds.

After reading through this whole thread, I feel a tad better about my own mental illnesses.
Thank you!

@hampy I suppose I have no reason to doubt Foxier is a woman. I am cautious of course, I will video call her on Skype first, before travelling anywhere. It seems unfeasible that someone would be trying to catfish a hopeless chess romantic.

@killF7 You raise an interesting question that also troubles me. There are two main possibilities here:

(1) In the case that I am a "spoofer", then the spoof in question appears to consist of expressing vulnerability about dates gone wrong, asking for potential dates here and asking for romantic escalation advice. At the middle of this spoof appears to be me as a sacrificial lamb for the amusement of others. Willing to embarrass myself by seeming unworldly and overly enthusiastic about Lichess dating, risking mockery, simply to make others laugh. Time investment into my posts does seem high and disproportionate to the personal laughter I might derive. Although laughter from others has also been very high and must be factored in as part of the equation. The spoof also seems to involve a lot of positive encouragement towards others and gratitude for hearing inspiring success stories, which is not anything someone machiavellian in nature would do. If I am indeed a spoofer, then what is my objective? I am trying to discern this myself as though I am a rational outsider, yet I cannot find an objective. As you say, it is simply too absurd.

(2) In the case that I am not a "spoofer", then it seems commendable to express vulnerability about dates and personal desires. It is also not easy for a person to admit that they are focused on online dating on a chess website when it is commonly seen (albeit incorrectly) as embarrassing, despite the high percentage of relationships that now begin online. Being vulnerable in this way is also about more than just the original poster, it also gave a space for others to state their interests in dating here, as well as share their experiences and even just emotionally express their frustrations (and hopefully be supported/encouraged in return). This seems healthy and cathartic. Likewise, I have also tried to be very polite and understanding in the face of persistent mockery, which is not easy. My suggestions of dating priority based on rating is just one solution of how we might handle the problem of the relative scarcity of female players here (<2%), combined with the fact that chess ability does indicate many positive character traits. I'm sure there are other systems of prioritisation we could use to solve the female scarcity problem, so my intention was only to get the conversation started.

The second option makes more sense, but like you, I am still not sure. It could also easily be a combination of both. Your stated frustration at not knowing made me feel sad. I want to assure you that I wish the best for you @killF7 and whatever we discover the truth is here, I am glad to have made you laugh.

Warm regards, Burrower

@AcceptTheAddiction Yes I am due to meet on Skype with 2 female chess players here. That's separately, not at the same time. I'm no player.

@MarioGomez I am glad that this thread has brought you more peace of mind.

@Burrower OK, OK, I admit it. I'm wrong. I had to express it to be open and honest but as of this moment I pick option 2. Sorry if I offended you.

However your analysis in option 1 is flawed. As a matter of fact I quite sure there are many more options, but option 1 doesn't allow for one who simply wants to enjoy making other people laugh in a virtual internet forum. Nothing is necessarily real or true here and it doesn't matter because this is what it is. I mean that's just one possible other explanation.

I never get tired of making fun of myself. I recently posted a forum bragging that I got a captcha wrong. True story. And I hope that story made someone laugh. Did it hurt me much to admit that sometimes I'm a loser? ....well ok MOST of the time I"m a loser? No. i loved it.

Smile on Everybody. Go man go.

@killF7 I don't need any clean bill of health to know that I'm the most retarded human being, on lichess to say the least. I'm already aware of that