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Finding love on Lichess

Here is a cute love story. I have been working since approx. 3 months at a nearby hospital, then I met this guy, a patient of mine who suffered under stroke. He hardly spoke, he could not do anything but stare at me with those huge blue eyes. I don't know what happened everyday we just got closer that all I wanted to do is to go see him; practice walking with him so he could walk again. At first I felt sorry because of his situation, he has got no relatives anymore and his wife also left him; no children nothing, just a couple of neighbours who came to visit him every now and then, who told me things like what he did in life. After two weeks of treatment, he began to speak short sentences. I knew that he's a very intelligent guy because his eyes told me this. Even though he only spoke sparsely, it was very inspiring with deep meaning to me. After four weeks, I brought him the exciting news that in a few days he could go home. He said that he did not want to go home, that he'd rather stay. I explained him that the abode at the clinic is almost due and that unfortunately he could not stay longer. "And then I get married, " he said. I was very surprised of what he just said. "And who is the lucky one that you will marry?" I asked him curiously. "You and me we will marry."
"But I am already married, I said this to you before." He only answered with a sigh. "A yes."
I comforted him that even though I am married, I am not going anywhere and that I will stay. "I will visit you when you're home," I promised him this.
I have not betrayed my husband before. He is a good person for all that he is. He is not perfect but I love him for all that he is. He is a very good father to our two sons. I felt guilty that I let my self somehow fall in love to this other person. Yes, I think that I love him now because I always think every minute of him. The other day I visited him at home and continued practicing walking with him. It felt so soothing to be in his near. He said that he needs me; I could only reply that I need him too. We have no kissing scene or something like that. We are intimate in a way when I hold both of his hands so that he could walk a bit freely without the support of rollator. I help him get under the shower and help him get in his Bed. I watch him while he eats and I like his smile. He is two times older than me. His face has got a few wrinkles, and his hair is a but silver. Because of an accident he is an early retirees. I told him that his house needs some renovation; it looks from outside as it's going to fall apart. "I will renovate it if you come to live with me. Bring your two boys; I have two motorbikes for them."
"It's not as easy as you think. The boys are big boys of the age of 17 and 16; and I can be proud of them, real nice boys, what do you think what they will say once I tell him your offer?"
He repeated over and over while I held his hands so that he could walk that he needs me.
I married my husband because I love him, but I am afraid this feeling that I have for my patient is much stronger. Should I fight it? I have a good house, a good husband who sustains me, the two boys are dream boys, the love of my life. I don't know how this love story will end. Maybe it will end sad like all other true love stories. Pardon me if it is not a Lichess Romance. To all of you looking for true love just keep loving.

I have no more time to edit my text. Excuse for some grammatic or text failures folks. It's almost 3 A. M. and I got to get some sleep. Good night/good day!

Interesting story, but I feel like its empty a bit.

@Sertai
Wrote it at 3 A.M, very tired from work I know plenty of important details are not written. It's also short format for the forum, and not a novel. I understand though what you mean. THanks for commenting.

Yes, you are right, Ottoerago, I intended to write 'short'. A short story. Thanks.

@LipsSing,

  I don’t know why these others have been so rude to you. I thought your story was very sweet.
  I particularly object to the fellow who called you a sinner. You specifically said you didn’t even kiss the man in your care; and loving him is, assuredly, no sin. Indeed, I would go so far as to say to your accuser: “Depart from me, ye that work iniquity. For verily, I never knew you.” These are the words I expect Christ to say to most fundamentalists / evangelicals / puritans / radical protestants, in general. For they are exactly like the Pharisees of old. ;( In taking the Bible literally, they have missed the whole point of it. I cite the story of the Samaritan woman who brought Christ water; I cite also, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” Etc. I would say Cookie has misinterpreted these stories — if indeed he has read them, at all. And for _that_ sin (i.e., blasphemy) — and the sin of judging you (for judgment is the LORD’s) — may God have mercy on his soul. . . .
  As for you, my dear, you have done nothing wrong. I absolve you. :) Thank you for sharing. I wish the best for you, your family, and your patient. And you are to be commended for your nurturing spirit, which is more admirable than most. If only more of us loved as freely & fully as you do.

Respectfully,
pawnedge

Hello Pawnedge,
 Thank you for your very uplifting words. I decided to write this to show my gratitude.

The one reason that motivated me was, - the whole station-team(hospital team) decided to send him to a home; they planned things behind his back to send him there (the social workers who communicated with the city, doctors and other nurses), and I was the only one against it. Despite my disagreement they continued doing this. The patient was horrified about it as I told him. He kept saying, but they can't do that. "They can't decide for me. That is a crime what they are doing!"
I said yes it is a crime. They do that because you have no family and no relatives. I know that it is fate and it is not your fault when you are now alone on whole planet. I told him that the sad thing is, I can't do much. " I can only tell you to be careful and please do not sign anything before not reading what is written on the piece of paper."
He is very believing and trusting of the good in people that he forgets to take caution measure. A very good man even of not thinking of anything bad. This is for others he is an easy victim. "It's like in the jungle, all the others see that you are wounded: and they think that you are a very easy prey." He said that I scare him. And I said that it is very scary.
"I see your immense  progress, in the beginning you were only in bed and could hardly get up - and now after three weeks you can walk a couple of steps without any help; even your talking is a lot better. If this continues, you can drive again and go riding horses again," I motivated him, always in this way. Because he often mentioned that he'd buy a horse when he's home. To this I only told him that at first he must become healthy and fit again or else he can't do it. My pure intention was from the beginning on to see him live normal like before and that he will not end in a home for the aged where he can't do anything anymore; and for sure he will lose all his belongings, his house, car, and even that bit of money that he gets as a pension will also flow to finance his stay in a home where he does not belong because he is not suffering under demence etc. He is a very intelligent guy with a good heart but they all treat him at the hospital as if he is not worth anything. I say that because they did not respect his will. They did not ask him if he wants to go to a home for the older people. He is not that old yet with 54 years of age! I thought of the worst scenario that he will end in a home eventually because everybody was for it. I consulted a lawyer for the first time in my life to ask of the best thing to do. And I followed his advice. It took me over three weeks to run after different authorities. The good news is he is now at home but the fight is not yet over. The city provided him without his consent somebody in charge of him, to take decision over things. Now, this was my patient fault: the district court wrote him a notice about this but he did not even open the letter thinking it was not of importance, so now he has this big problem that this woman sent from the district court to be his keeper ( person in charge) she could take decision over things that probably in the next days if she thinks he needs to go to a home, this will be made accordingly to what she says. The medical service of the health insurance will be coming in some days to check his nursing degree, which might also cause more difficulties. Me in the middle of all this and asking myself "Do you know what you're doing?" 
To be honest. I am not aware that I'd be going through hell. The whole system is making me ill.
The patient said that he needs me and he is right. I think it is all about that now and I just can't let him down. I told him that I am your friend. I might just be another human but I will try what I can do to help him. The truth is he is the one helping me become a real human. His neighbour whom he trust a lot, who takes care of his bank financing at the moment, said to me the last time."But if you do that all these things for him, you have to get something back. We must pay you. Now look, you live 45 minutes away, the gasoline already costs."
I said," You know, Mr., that's exactly why I'm doing this. To do something and not because of money. It kind of feels good to do something in my life and the reason is not money." And he could only agree with that what I said. I try to give the same care to all my patience, but many of them are lucky they have family and relatives. This patient of mine has none. Yes, maybe it is unconditional love that i give him because that is what he needs most. Also, I am his friend. It is a decision that I made which was well thought over a long period of time.

To all others, if you support me or criticize me for what I do; everything is good, I will try to learn from it. Thank you. 

Reconnecting