On Lichess,you *must* be nice: Lichess is intended to be a fun and friendly environment for everyone

I received this message in my inbox:
"On Lichess, you *must* be nice when communicating with other players. At all times.
Lichess is intended to be a fun and friendly environment for everyone."

I confirm that I was a bit harsh in the chat and I deserved this warning. I totally agree with it but if we want Lichess to be fun and friendly for everyone, may I suggest that players accept to give a revange to the other player when playing bullet games? Really, a lot of players are playing White in a bullet game, won and leave. This is brutal and for me, it is not "nice and fun" and these players should receive a warning too.

So my suggestion is to "force" bullet and blitz players to play both colors when being paired. This way, it's fair and Lichess will be nice and fun for everybody. Or, you should send then a warning too saying that fairplay is required and that players should give a revange in bullet games.

I almost never accept a rematch, because I usually only time for so many games. This should never be enforced.

Lichess should be fun and nice but people should only do what I consider fun and nice, because I don't care what they think, durrrrr

Since when is "forcing" someone to do something "nice"? Or "fun" for the other guy/girl?

What's your problem anyways? Lichess' pairing algorithm will take care that you play White about as much as you play Black. Why do you need to always play both colors against the same opponent?

Get over your irrational fear of loss, that would be nice.

I wish the system tried to pair people who generally want rematches with others like them, and the same for those who don't. And those who rarely offer but often accept could be paired with anyone.

If you would like rematches to find and follow players that want consistent playing in those areas of play. @drcourson3 is one of them that will consistently rematch people in Blitz games etc. Some people here on Lichess are insecure about their skill and if they do win they may be afraid to rematch due to them wanting their rating points to stay. I can understand that it is frustrating not getting rematches; I for one would rematch if I had the time. All in all, nothing should be forced one here. I do not play Bullet so I only speak for myself and Fairplay should always be in effect but to force is not something that needs to happen on Lichess.

@PurpleInferno: yeah, an algorythm pairing players that nicely give Black's a revange in bullet games would be a nice feature. Perhaps saying "forcing" is too strong here, but having an option in the player's configuration that we can set on or off would be nice.

Maybe if you always lose as black you should do something about your openings... No one owes anyone a rematch and it should stay that way.

I don't bother with it and it doesn't bother me. I re-match if I feel like it and have the time otherwise not.
Plus my best games are my early games. Sometimes I just don't want to play until someone scores a win off me because I'm getting worn out, tired, bored or stressed. I prefer to play at the top of my game and just move onto the next person when I'm ready to play again. Plus, I lose all the time. Losing doesn't bother me that much. Years ago I started on another site and I was lucky just to be able to stay above 1200. Playing as I explained gradually I've improved. In fact yesterday or the day before I broke 1700, hit 1710, in 3 min blitz, first time ever, and even though I'm a little more exhausted and not playing as will, I'm still hovering mid 1600's. Anyway, it's all good. You can't control others or expect them live by your values, rules and expectations. There are MANY ways of looking at this and approaching it, and people are going to do what they're going to do.

The only time I've ever gotten rude has been when someone has run away on the clock or been abusive and even now I just don't care that much anymore. I either block them or I don't and move on.

That warning is, unfortunately, too familiar, having received it myself too for my past misdeeds. :( I can tell you from experience that it serves a good purpose + it usually carries the message across.

Now, on a side note: imho, the "nice" communication includes OTHER things as well, not just words typed in the chat.

For example, pestering someone with repeated rematch requests, despite repeated refusals. (I have raised the issue of limiting that, but unfortunately nothing was done yet). Or ignoring a "Good Game" or "Well Played" in the chat (which I think can be equated with refusing to shake your opponent's hand at the end of an OTB game). Etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that maintaining the "nice" character of the site should be a HOLISTIC ENTERPRISE, including but NOT limited to the chat messages.

Just my 2c.