Why are british people so good at chess?

Their queen never dies.

another one:

Why was Michael Jackson terrible at chess?

He couldn't decide if he was black or white.

another one:

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'.

So we stopped playing chess.

There is no king. They would lose by default.

Why is the white bishop piece in chess the fastest?

Because it's on F1.

I have a European friend who I play chess with

Or as I like to call him, my Czech mate

Czech mate...oh stop!

2 beginners at chess:
"I have improved my English, Spanish, French, Russian, and Italian."
"Wow, you're a genius!"
"Why am I a genius?"
"Because you can speak so many different languages..."
"I was talking about chess openings, not languages!"

When a Russian says hes a beginner at chess, hes really a 1600. When an american says hes a beginner at chess, he doesn't know how the horsey moves.