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my life is going shit rn, i just want a free tutor and get better at chess

When I started playing in lichess, I was rated around 1100. It took me 3 years to reach 1700 in rapid. But I still feel like i don't know anything about chess. Most of the time I bank on my past experience and traps. So you will get better gradually as you gain more experience.

But it doesn't matter how much rating you earn, there will always be players who will crush you with ease, unless you become really good like 2000 + rated.

So don't take rating into account, play for fun, analyze and learn from each game, get familiar with all kind of traps and gambits, watch tutorials on youtube, by doing these you will reach 1600-1700 in no time.
You don't have to spend money on coaches at this level.

Quoting @ChesspatzerBAN:

"So don't take rating into account, play for fun, ***ANALYZE AND LEARN FROM EACH GAME***, get familiar with all kind of traps and gambits, watch tutorials on youtube, by doing these you will reach 1600-1700 in no time.
You don't have to spend money on coaches at this level."

I can't give better advice than that. I've checked that you haven't asked lichess to analyze most of your games, and this is terrible. Only learning from your errors you will be able to not reproduce them! Analyze your games calmly, and ask yourself why you blundered; what was crossing your mind when you made the error... learn drive your mind.

Also, maybe you need to forget about clock at this moment. Maybe you can play correspondence games and learn calmly and correctly.

Analyze and learn from your errors!!!
Good luck. :)

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