How do you resist takebacks?

I do it again and again. My opponent blunders his queen, he demands a takeback (twice, because not only the move when I captured the queen but also the move before), takes a lot of time ... and I always feel obliged to comply.
Of course, later I loose the game, and of course he shows no mercy at all. Why are games with takebacks rated, anyways?

Are you guys able to refuse the takeback without feeling bad? I'd like to learn that.

You can turn them off in your preferences if you want to avoid the issue.

Its totally legit to NOT accept the takeback. If your opponent blunders the queen, thats his problem. Thats how online chess works.
If you do accept the takeback thats completely fine and a nice gesture. If you do however you should know what you actually play chess for. Its a question of attitude. If you play to win the game, then play like that. Dont show mercy at all. If you just play for fun and to enjoy nice games of chess, of course you dont want your opponent to blunder or mouseslip. In that case you shoud accept the takeback, and simply enjoy the game. Do your best and if you lose because your opponent played a good game after the incident, you should be fine with that.

Ask yourself with what kind of attitude you want to play online chess. There is nothing wrong with either way. However you always have to accept that your opponent may has a more greedy attitude and plays for a win no matter what.

In online chess I play for the win. In real life at the board facing my opponent i go the other way. There i just want to enjoy the game. By following the second mood, i improved my gameplay a lot, because i dont care about ratings to much anymore. So i decline almost any draw offer, because i want to enjoy the whole game and do not shake hands after 20 moves.

I am definitely of the camp that you should just disable takebacks. Making blunders is part of the game.

The only thing that I do as far as that is concerned, is if someone makes a move that is very obviously a mouse slip (e.g. their piece stops one space in front of an obvious capture point or their king steps one space when their intent was obviously to castle), then I'll offer a draw if time permits.

In rated games, the feature is off for me.
Consider rated games like doing a final exam in school.

You are in a way helping someone during their exam.
By accepting help or giving help, you're affecting the results.

Have you thought about the long-term consequences from accepting take-backs?
It's actually making your opponent moves stronger and your rating is suffering.
Some players might need to stop making excuses. Don't give your self the choice to answer their call for take-backs.
Go to your preference settings and set them according to OTB chess rules.

Stay honest, and avoid the take-back temptations.

Im in almost complete agreement with this thread, minus something said by #3 about not taking draws. Playing out a two knight vs two bishop with 5 locked pawns endgame is not something you play out to enjoy the game, its only when you are too stubborn to draw. when people offer draws its for a good reason. Might wanna check out that reason before just saying no.

If you start playing chess, you accept the possibility you make blunders and the consequence is that you lose games. If people can't cope with that, maybe they should not play chess. When I have a mouse slip, I grumble but just start another game.

I also play a lot of games anonymously here and I often resign immediately, no matter the position, when my opponent requests a take-back. It's just something you should not do, and I hope those players start thinking this over.

I keep takebacks enabled but request them only on mouse slips and only give them when the opponent's move was obviously a mouse slip. If opponents get irritated over my refusing a takeback I just disable chat.

I mostly use zen mode and when my opponent mouse slips like castling and they offer a take back i dont see it, so they always think i ignored it which is not the case, i only see they had sent a take back request after the game has ended, i think lichess should make take backs visible in zen mode situations too.