@NickUK1969 said in #1:
> It isn't is it really?
> The endless conflict and mental aggression from opponents and indeed from you to your opponents...
> The pain when you lose after winning easily for 40 moves...
> The loneliness of playing over your own wins ,your own struggle only matters to you and nobody else...
> Unlike hobbies where you create something chess is a hobby where you destroy to create....
> "There is no room for kindness of heart in chess" is a famous quote...
> Its not nice is it....lets face it
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1. You said: It isn't is it really?
My answer: Chess is a lovely hobby that celebrates the intersection where creativity and art meet math and logistics.
That said, I suppose we can all make of it as we will? After all, I'm sure that, somewhere, someone once used a box of chess pieces for a doorstop.
2. You said: The endless conflict and mental aggression from opponents and indeed from you to your opponents...
My answer: I know the mental paradigm you're addressing and it's got nothing to do with chess and everything to do with your perspective, your personality, and your character. Your experience is not part-in-parcel with chess, it is part-in-parcel with your paradigm.
3. You said: The pain when you lose after winning easily for 40 moves...
My answer: I'll concede that it can be a minor annoyance to argue better moves and then lose to a technicality...but it doesn't amount to "pain" because I know that I can't wait to play that opponent again and that I am capable of playing some very strong chess against that opponent. Plus, why shouldn't all of the great moves carry any weight?
"Listen here!! You stupid brain of mine!! I asked for 100% perfection and you screwed up again!! What is WRONG with you!? I don't want 39 winning moves that would earn a win...I want 40 moves of 100% perfection and I want it 100% of the time! How DARE you not serve me perfectly?? What are you even good for, brain?? I'll tell you what...do it again and I'll send 40 ounces of Jack Daniels to come and sort you out!! I will have my enjoyment in life, one way or another. Now, are you ready to play some only winning moves 100% of the time for me, or would you like to help me forget about how badly you play chess? You choose!" - Mr. Not Very Nice
(In my opinion, human brains are profound and the magnitude behind the fact of our existence is beyond all words and descriptions; therefore, again, 'perception' matters.)
I'm much more focused on the quality of the gameplay than to put any weight behind a simple blunder. Chess, for me, doesn't live in the presence or absence of blunders.
So, again, the pain of losing is not part-in-parcel with chess, it is part-in-parcel with your paradigm.
4. You said: The loneliness of playing over your own wins ,your own struggle only matters to you and nobody else...
My answer: What struggle? What perception have you adopted that playing over your games is a struggle for you?
It's my experience that, often times, uncaring people feel the least cared for.
How much interest have you shown in games that other people played?
I've had at least several students and study-buddies where we would comb over our games for hours, and I know that I take the time to do that to a minimum compared to others on this site.
*Have you ever even tried posting a win in the forums for others to celebrate with you?*
5. You said: Unlike hobbies where you create something chess is a hobby where you destroy to create....
My answer: Chess is a hobby where you create arguments to a debate and see who has the more objectively productive ideas. The airplane was created in a similar fashion, as was the lightbulb, as was the car engine.
With that said, when I was a child there were no clubs or means to play chess against others and so I used to spend hours a day playing chess against myself; so, really, the idea of "a separate opponent" doesn't really don on me. For me, it's just 'mind' playing 'mind'.
Again, perspective and paradigm, alongside motives and reasons to play this game, are paramount and relevant to one's perspective.
6. You said: "There is no room for kindness of heart in chess" is a famous quote...
My answer: The quote is weird and out of place regardless of the ELO of the person who said it:
"There is no room for intentionally arguing poorly."
"There is no room to intentionally commit logical fallacies when debating on a podium."
"There is no room for intentionally missing free throws in basketball."
"There is no room to use a 1 wood out of a sand trap in golf."
I don't know who says these kinds of things. The chess board is clinical. The personal element is non-existential for many lifelong chess enthusiasts.
"Thank you for enjoying this discussion/debate/science project with me," is my sentiment regardless of Win/Lose/Draw, and judging by 100% of the post-game interviews I've seen, it seems to be shared by, basically, all of the GMs.
7. You said: Its not nice is it....lets face it
My answer: "Nice" has absolutely nothing to do with it. I fail to see how chess could ever be "nice" or "not nice".
These aren't even non-sequitors, they're non-starters.
Objectively, the game seems to be nothing more than a creative exercise in clinical debate.
That said, like many things, I suppose that we can make of it what we will?
I used a sewing needle to fix some clothing a few days ago...but I concede that I could have, instead, chosen to shove the needle under my fingernail.
Conclusion: Had you prefaced your analyses of chess with qualifiers such as "for me", "in my opinion", or "it appears as though," I wouldn't have found any contention with what you said; however, when someone wears sunglasses on a sunny day and then proceeds to make signposts denouncing the dark skies and dusky atmosphere...hinting that they feel as though things would be better if only the sun would shine more brightly...well...maybe there is a lesson that we can all learn from, here.
I hope that you, someday, manage to find good favour with chess...because it can be, actually, a wonderful game!
"You can choose to see the glass as half empty or as half full. In life, both are valid. But which one makes better sense for the human mind? Do we want to walk around playful, or is it better that we make ourselves grumpy all day? Which one works better? Which one is better for people to live with? Which is more helpful?" - Alan Watts (paraphrased)